**What’s love got to do with it?**

**What's love got to do with it?**

Rev. Jerry J. Pokorsky

The English word “love” is so broad it can even be used to justify all kinds of aberrant behavior. So it is helpful to be attentive to sort out the meanings of the different loves found in the Bible. The Greek communicates the variations in four words: eros, storge, philia, and agape (romantic love, family love, brotherly love, and divine love). It is likely that the Lord and His Apostles often conversed in Greek. If so, the Gospels in Greek reveal nuances that are absent in the English.

We find two of the four loves in the post-Resurrection encounter between Jesus and Peter. “When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me [with sacrificial divine love, agape] more than these?’ Peter said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you [with friendship love, philia].’ He said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’” (John 21:15)

“A second time Jesus said to him, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me [with divine sacrificial love]?’” Peter again responds, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love [with friendship love] you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” (John 21:16) He said to him the third time, this time graciously lowering the bar of excellence, Jesus asks, “Simon, son of John, do you love me [with friendship love, philia]?” (John 21:17)

Peter grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me [with friendship love]?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you [with friendship love].” (John 21:17) Peter is hurt – perhaps because the threefold question reminded him of his bitter denial of Jesus during His Passion, or maybe he fears to commit to the demands of divine love -- but he still does not rise above friendship love.

Jesus knows someday Peter will rise to the occasion: “‘Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go.’ (This he said to show by what death he was to glorify God.)” (John 21:18-19) Peter one day will voluntarily return to Rome for crucifixion, in witness to his purified divine sacrificial love for Christ.

Consider the nature of divine love. Creation could not add to the perfection of the love of Blessed Trinity. Nevertheless, God creates the heavens and the earth. Ultimately, God’s creative handiwork reveals a great mystery of divine love. Divine love is generous.

Divine love is also costly. “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) Divine love gives without any expectation of a return. Mother Teresa put it in practical everyday terms: “Love until it hurts.” Divine love hurts because, with God’s grace, such love breaks the shackles of sinful selfishness.

Truth is the cornerstone of divine sacrificial love. Jesus reveals Himself as “the way, the truth, and the life.” (John 14:16) So Divine love reverences the truth of Jesus and the way of His Cross leading to the Resurrection. Witnessing to the Gospel of Jesus can be painful. It is painful when a mother necessarily disciplines her child. It is painful when a doctor delivers the bad news of a diagnosis. And it is painful to insist that certain behavior is immoral and places the soul of a loved one at risk.

Divine love purifies and directs all other types of love. The effects of original sin incline us toward personal sin. All too easily, we equate love with fulfilling every emotional desire. But sacrificial divine love tempers love rooted in emotion. We need Divine sacrificial love to measure, moderate, and guide these natural and good human affections.

Without sacrificial divine love, human relations quickly break down. When divorced from divine love, our friendships, the love within our families, and our romantic attractions are easily distorted and perverted. The love and affection of husband and wife quickly spins off into selfish desires and expectations. Romantic love breaks down into impurity. Human love unresponsive to Divine love is petty, destructive, and in the extreme, grotesque.

Of course, examples are innumerable in our culture today, as they are throughout human history. Jesus came into the world to reveal the remedy of divine love to us. Throughout our lives, we repeatedly encounter Him in the sacraments, restoring, replenishing, and refining our ability to love as He loves us.

But if the truth of the Gospel hurts at times, we have the guarantee that we “…will know the truth, and the truth will make [us] free.” (John (8:32) The truth of the Gospel fulfills and liberates our humanity, and brings us peace of soul. “If a man loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” (John 14:23)

Today, Jesus asks us if we love Him with His sacrificial divine love. Perhaps our initial response will be that of Saint Peter, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you with the affection of a friend.” Such a response would be a good start. In time, and with God’s grace, may we someday respond, “Yes Lord, you know that I love with generous and sacrificial love, and I will be willing to die for you and in witness to the truth of the Gospel.”

Four unique forms of love are found in the Bible: romantic love, family love, brotherly love -- and the greatest of all: God's sacrificial, generous, divine, and true love.